No Joy In Mudville
by Red Witch
Summary: Trying to keep what's left of the X-Men together is hard enough, but getting them to agree on baseball? Impossible.


**The disclaimer telling all of you that I don't own any Wolverine and the X-Men characters has been hit on the head with a fly ball. This fic is partly inspired by the episodes I've seen online and my current frustration with my favorite baseball team!**

**No Joy In Mudville**

Emma Frost was not exactly a cheerful person to begin with. But that morning she seemed even more snarky than usual at the breakfast table.

"What's a matter Frost?" Kitty smirked. "Didn't get enough beauty sleep?"

"Katherine, please pass the cornflakes before I instruct you to **bite me**," Emma growled.

"Sounds like somebody's eating some sour grapes," Kitty chuckled.

"Hey! Lay off Emma!" Bobby told her.

"Oh sure! You'd take her side!" Kitty sneered.

"You bet I will!" Bobby said. "Us Red Sox fans have to stick together!"

"Oh **that's **what happened," Logan groaned.

"What happened?" Ororo asked.

"You don't follow baseball do you?" Hank smirked.

"Take my advice and **don't!** It gives you nothing but heartache! Heartache! And sleepless nights!" Emma groaned.

"And wrinkles," Kitty said cheerfully.

"Last night our team the Red Sox were defeated in one of the closest playoff games in history," Bobby explained. "By Tampa Bay of all people! They used to be the worst team in the history of the league!"

"From worst to first," Hank said.

"If I never hear another stupid cowbell it will be too soon," Bobby groaned.

"Both Bobby and Emma Frost are rooting for the same baseball team?" Ororo asked. "Emma you like a baseball team?"

"Both of them are from Boston," Hank explained. "And in that city you will find some of American's most rabid baseball fans."

"We grew up with it," Bobby shrugged. "It's a New England thing."

"I can't believe it happened! We were so close! So close!" Emma wailed.

"Face it, Emma they outplayed us pure and simple," Bobby sighed. "The better team won! But what do you expect? They're all young guys and nearly half our team was injured! I'm amazed we got as far as we did! If we had Lowell alone it would have been a different story! Not just Lowell, but Ortiz was hurt. Beckett and JD Drew were playing through the pain! Lugo was hurt too! We lost Shilling at the beginning of the season…Not to mention we didn't have Manny this time."

"Do not get me **started** on Manny!" Emma interrupted him. "Look, he was fun when he was just fooling around in the outfield and late to spring training! But when he started beating up 60 year old travel agents and throwing his weight around like a prima donna…"

"Hey! I'm with you! We got Bay! And we're better off!" Bobby said. "Anyway he's LA's problem now."

"Well it wasn't our pitching or catching that did us in! If we could only get a few hits in!" Emma groaned. "We had so many chances and we blew it!"

"Wouldn't it have been cool if Johnny Pesky could still play?" Bobby asked. "You know the day they retired his number I cried. I did."

"Who wouldn't cry at that?" Emma sighed.

"Hey, at least it wasn't the Yankees that beat us," Bobby said.

"Tell me about it," Emma agreed. "And at least they never won a series before so it does take some of the sting out but still…If only Lowell wasn't injured! And just three more hits! Three!"

"Gotta give 'em credit, they didn't lie down and take it," Bobby said. "They gave 'em a hell of a fight!"

"They did! They did! They were an amazing team! Dice-K, Coco…" Emma sighed.

"Yoooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!" Bobby cheered.

"Do you understand **anything **they just said?" Ororo looked at Logan.

"Forget it Ororo, it's Beantown," Logan sighed.

"I don't know why you two are complaining," Kitty glared at them. "At least Boston **won **the World Series last year! You win a couple of games after 86 years you think you're entitled to win them all! You freaking…"

"What's her problem?" Ororo asked.

"Kitty's a Cubs fan," Logan explained.

"Oh," Ororo nodded. "Even I know what that means."

"This was supposed to be our year! Our year!" Kitty yelled. "You Red Sox fans whine like babies over only 86 years? Try a **hundred** years! A hundred freaking years and we still haven't won a World Series! And we don't blame our problems on a stupid curse!"

"That's because the Cubs just suck," Bobby snorted.

"You wanna be turned into ice cubes?" Kitty made a fist. "I'll do it! I swear I will!"

"Oh please…" Emma rolled her eyes.

"I'll take you on too, Blondie!" Kitty snarled.

"Try it! We'll blow you away like the St. Louis Cardinals in 2004!" Emma sneered.

"I'll pound you both like the Tampa Rays did last night!" Kitty shouted.

"All right! Shut up and settle down!" Logan barked. "I've had enough of this! Let's just put it all behind us! In case you people have forgotten, we have a job to do. You know, save the world from the Apocalypse?"

"I agree," Scott grumbled. "At least **your** teams made it to the playoffs this year! Not like the Yankees."

Emma, Kitty and Bobby scoffed. "Oh boo hoo…" Kitty mocked. "Cry me a river!"

"Poor Yankees…" Emma drawled.

"Get used to it Cyclops," Bobby quipped. "By my calculations you got about 82 years left of the curse to go!"

"You shut up about that! There's no curse! There never was and there never will be and even if there was the Yankees are not cursed!" Scott shouted.

"Scott, the Yankees have Hank Steinbrenner," Emma smirked. "If **that** isn't a curse I don't know what is!"

"Why you…?" Scott's eyes flashed.

"Stop this!" Ororo barked. "I can't believe you are acting so childish over a silly game!"

"What did you just say?" Emma glared at her. Bobby, Kitty and Scott gave her the same look.

"You did **not** just knock baseball!" Bobby glared.

"No she was knocking you!" Logan said. "Will you guys just do what the rest of the country is doing and wait until next year?"

"Easy for him to say," Kitty grumbled. "He's obviously a Toronto Blue Jays fan."

"I am **not!** I'm a hockey guy!" Logan barked.

"Why does that **not** surprise me?" Scott grumbled. "No offense you guys but this is an American thing so…"

"What do you mean by that crack?" Ororo snapped. "I'm an American! I was born in this country and my father was American! Just because I'm not obsessed over a stupid game where you hit a stupid ball with a stupid bat…"

"It's not a stupid game!" Bobby defended. "It's American!"

"Hitting things with bats?" Ororo asked.

"Yes!" Bobby yelled.

"Cut it out!" Logan barked. "All of you! Has everyone lost their minds?"

"Beast you haven't said much," Bobby asked. "Which team did you like?"

"Apparently they have," Logan grumbled.

"Uh I've always been more of a football man myself," Hank coughed.

"Yeah," Scott smirked. "Like how great last year's Super Bowl was when the cheating Patriots got their butts kicked by the Giants?"

"Oh let's not start **that** again…" Bobby grumbled.

"That allegation was never proven and you know it!" Emma bristled. "Besides it's not like any other team hasn't done the same thing including the Giants!"

"Why you…" Scott began.

"Okay knock it off!" Logan barked. "This discussion is over! With one added thing: Canadians love baseball just as much as you Americans so don't knock us or us hose heads are gonna clobber you Yanks!"

"Never call a Red Sox fan a **Yank!"** Emma bristled.

"Hey everybody," Forge cheerfully walked in. "What a great baseball game last night! I can't believe the Rays and the Philles are in the World Series! Too bad the Dodgers and Manny didn't get in. But then again it's not like the Cubs or the Yankees had a chance so…"

At that moment Forge was immediately attacked by fruit and a snowball. Before Logan's eyes a melee broke out between Bobby, Emma, Scott and Kitty on who would kill Forge first. Ororo tried to intercede but ended up in the brawl as well.

"So much for us coming together," Hank winced. "And I thought things were low when Rogue betrayed us."

"Great," Logan groaned as the fighting went on. "Forget the Sentinels, the MRD and the Brotherhood! The real threat to the X-Men is **baseball**!"


End file.
